Confession here, I was petrified of arm balances for a long time.  Now these are some of my favorite poses to practice, how did I go from extreme fear to love, I PRACTICED, over and over again.  Let me take you back in time with me, to my bedroom, 2003…..  specifically to my mat during one of my many home yoga practices.

This time in my life was truly magical, every pose was new and hard and the awakenings I would have were intense and awesome.  I would set up my mat and a make-shift alter with a rock, a plant and a candle.  I would often turn off the lights but keep enough light so I could follow my yoga books’ instructions about how to do the poses.

One of my favorite books at this time was 40 Days to Personal Revolution, by Baron Baptist, it had a cool section full of different sequences that I often followed.  One of the poses was crow pose – Bakasana.  To be honest I used to feel the hair of the back of my neck come up when I saw the picture so I often skipped it and said “bfffffpt…. yeah right,…. no way!”

I did not attend many public classes in 2003 but the ones I went to I had never seen the teacher instruct this or any other arm balance postures.  The day came when I thought, screw it, I’m going to try it any way!  I went for it, 100% effort.  I can remember exactly how I put my hands, they were about 6 inches apart, palms turned in, index knuckles lifted off my mat and from there I took a deep breath, held it in as I “leaned forward” just like the book instructed.

There’s a possibility I held my breath for too long or I was just so scared at what was happening, it’s a bit of a blur but next thing I know, I went all the way over, off my mat, hit my face on the carpeted floor, banged my teeth, skinned my nose and chin! Clearly that experience left a pretty big mark in my consciousness.  “NEVER AGAIN!” I promised myself, NEVER AGAIN!

About 6 months later, after skipping over crow pose in this sequence I started to feel like I was ready to try it again.  I fell again but I did not smash my face this time and I didn’t commit to never trying it again, instead I recognized that it went better than last time.

I continued to dabble with crow pose here and there, and started to get a bit better at it.  Then I realized something else, it really hurt my wrists A LOT!!!!  I wasn’t able to breathe because whenever I did I felt the pain in my wrists even more.  Enter…. Anusara Yoga!!!

Clear, succinct, easy to follow instructions backed up by sound biomechanics and voila, I’m an arm balancing queen!  I noticed that my hands were way to close together, my palms were turned in (that was taking my scapula off my back) and placing my weight in my outer wrists, my upper back was rounded instead of having a soft upper back and melted heart, I plugged my index knuckles down and clawed my finger pads just as I was clearly instructed to do and I lifted my feet up off the ground with grace!!

This was a moment in my yoga history that I have never forgotten and never will.  I was ready to face my fear, of literally falling on my face and when I did a part of me that I didn’t know existed stepped forward and smiled at me!  I AM ENOUGH, I AM STRONG, I CAN DO WHAT I PUT MY MIND AND HEART INTO!

Now almost 10 years later, I get a tiny little excitement whenever I do an arm balance because I might just fall on my face.  I’m okay with that because I have learned how to actually fall on my face with some control over my landing in fact I can fall forward out of crow onto my head, lift up into headstand, put my legs in lotus come back down into a different arm balance and then go back up to headstand and release back into crow, tadhaaa!!!!

It amazing to me what great lengths people will go to, in order to run away from their fears (myself included).  Yoga is a practice that can empower us, over time, with consistency, to face what we need to so we can move forward and heal and also how to fall on our face with more grace and experiene the true freedom that we are meant too!

If your inspired, I hope you can make it to my class!!!

Om

Mindy

Just got back from a wonderful week in Costa Rica.  If you have ever been to Nosara you will understand when I say that there is something so magical about this place.  We had an amazing retreat and one of the reasons it was so amazing is because several of the people that came last year Re-treated again this year!!!  And, we had some incredble other people join this year.  After 3 plane rides and a 2 hour car ride to get home my brain is pulsating with all of the new experiences that we had there and how I can bring that back here to where I live.

The food will be tough to match here.  Fresh bananas and other juicy fruits, no proccessed foods at all, the magical juice bar at Harmony, yep it’s gonna be a tough day at the grocery store today.  Doing yoga everyday with the same people is an experience firmly recommend.  Community in yoga will allow you to deepen your practice on and off your mat.  Sure it’s a lot easier to handle power differientials and stuff when your in paradise but you are certainly going to learn about yourself and how you hold relationships with other people.

Last year was a year chock full of transitions for me and many others.  I closed my yoga studio and I’m embracing my new direction in life.  I had my heart opened wide and broken apart sometime in the same day.  When I look back on last year it has been an incredible time of spanda, pulsing with contraction and wild expansion.  So for this year I can already see where my practice needs some beefing up!!!  I have no problem admitting I’m a highly sensitive person that has to work hard not to take things personally and after being Nosara what I need to work on for 2012 was easily channeled.  This year I am going to focus on “staying strong and moving on!”

It’s not news to me that I have some people or events in my past that well frankly SUCK, but it’s not my dharma to spend energy on what happened or what others think of me.  So whenever I feel the drama taking over I am going to use my new mantra “STAY STRONG AND MOVE ON!”  Letting go is the most healing and freeing thing that I can do for myself.

This past year I had the opportunity to study with John Friend, founder of Anusara Yoga and more specifically was attended his 5 day workshop on the Dharma of Relationships.  Something huge was planted in me in New Jersey and I am going to culitvate what I took from the workshop and put it into action in my life.  John stated very clearly that there are some people that “hate him” and that he doesn’t spend any energy on them, he wishes them blessings and moves on! How inspiring!

That’s HUGE, and that is how I want to align myself for this year.  Out with the old mental samskaras that I am not a nice person or that people have a legitamate reason to “hate” or dislike me.  Although I’m not always perfect I’m doing the very best that I can and over the years the level of integrety I expect from who I live my life around has certainly risen but I see that as a postive.

STAY STRONG AND MOVE ON FRIENDS!!

Love to you!

I’ve been hustling and bustling to get all my holiday shopping done and get packed for a trip up north which includes snowpants, mitts and all things warm and fuzzy AND packing another bag for the Jungle, bikini, flip-flops, sunscreen!  So yep, I’ve been busy.  We are having a holiday party tonight and I am in charge of making vegan cupcakes but haven’t started yet!!!

What I just noticed yesterday that all this bustling has taken me off of my mat and whenever that happens I start to get a bit fried!  My temper is shorter, less patience and acceptance of others.  I even honked at someone in the mall parking lot for scamming my spot that I waited 10 minutes for!!!

The bottom line is sometimes I just get a bit off-balance and you know what that is totally okay AND in fact helpful because it is exactly what I need to bring myself back to balance.  I know that the next week will be even busier with appointments and last-minute shopping but after that I can relax (sort of) when I get back to my hometown.

I can handle extra stress in my life only because I have learned to use my yoga practice in ways that teach me to hold my center when the proverbial snow squall hits me!  The real yoga is can I stay in my heart when my nerves are stressed to the max, when I have a million things to do, yep, I believe I can as long as I take time even 5 minutes to step on my mat and work things out.

So get your butt to yoga over the holidays as much as you can, even it is before or after shopping and I believe it will help with holiday/family/travel/weather stress.

Om

Mindy

Accepting yourself is the starting point when cultivating a healthy self-image.  Self-esteem and self-confidence have always been something that I have struggled with.  One of the reasons I belive this to be is because I have been impressed upon since I was a little girl with images of what my body should look like, which when I was a kid was mainly Barbie!  Yikes, image walking on your tippie toes all day, ouch and personally  big boobs would not benefit me instead they would get in the way of my yoga practice and rock climbing.

It was pretty much after my first yoga class that this unfamiliar event occurred in my head, it was quiet all of a sudden!  It was a profound moment to me because up until that point it was loud, disapproving and there was a constant conversation going on about how I sucked and what I needed to change to be accepted as an attractive and likeable person in the world.  At that point it really didn’t matter that I was obsessed with hitting the gym for 2 hours everyday, while throwing up everything I ate, drinking almost every night and going to the bars in expensive outfits to try to impress other people.  The war raging inside my body came to a standstill for a moment or two in my first yoga class and to my surprise I was actually listening and I noticed it!

It wasn’t like I did a downward dog and everything was suddenly better, it was more like a light switched on in my mind and it illuminated the truth of who I was.  I was a divine being, wtf?  Really?? Me??? No!!!!!  NO WAY!!!!  and then back to the “oh shit is that cellulite on my thighs, I better buckle down and do more cardio, that’s what I get for being lazy!”

This inner violence I had going on inside was only getting worse with my obsessive gym sessions even though I believed it would help.  It did a little bit but not in the way that yoga has helped me.  Yoga was helping me to heal my body, connect to my spirit and to understand who the heck I really am and what in the hell I’m doing here!  I had those same moments of peace and quiet every time I practiced and after time they started to last longer, linger and created a huge shift in my thinking patterns, which ultimately shifted my behaviour.

I thought that it was only me believing that I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, attractive enough but as it turns out everyone struggles with one or all of these to some degree.  By learning how to just accept myself as I was, has helped me to accept others as they are.  I agree I don’t always get this right, but I have made massive amounts of progress so I honour myself for how far I have come and acknowledge that I can always improve her through my spiritual work and meditation.

The planet and the people who live on her need healing!  This healing will always start right now, in this very moment by taking a deep breath, softening and accepting yourself as you are!  If you are truly doing the best you can then focus on that, if you can do better than get your ass to yoga and work it out on your mat!

My friends and family started to notice a shift in me when I started to shift they way I saw and thought of myself, not when I was about to chest press 60 pounds or run for 1 hour on the treadmill or decrease my body fat.  For me the real work is to look at myself everyday and accept what is!

On the side this blog was inspired because I noticed my very first grey hair!  Yep, I panicked a tiny bit for about 24 hours then I moved toward accepting it and even loving it.  As a contrast, the me 10 years ago would have lost it over a grey hair so yep I’m doing okay.

blessings and acceptance to you today,

Mindy

I taught a lovely class today in the park to some young yogis and saw a very familiar facial expression aimed at me while I lead them into some postures.  It’s not easy to describe this particular look but since I started teaching yoga I have seen it many times.  This look is sort of half roll your eyes at me combined with what the hell is this crazy woman talking about. I wouldn’t say it’s a nice look, in fact it’s a bit like you disgust me and your a total weirdo. Not to worry I can take it, I’m used to it and I think it’s awesome that I can get people’s brains thinking out of the norm.
I taught an advanced class this morning that lead toward eka pada viparita dandasana and there it was again, that look!  Love it!  Funny thing is that I was used to this look from other people long before I started doing yoga.  The same look at 16 years old when I told people I was a vegetarian, or that I spent my free time climbing up the face of cliffs or entering big air competitions on my snowboard.  You see in my life adventure and being unique and kinda freaky in a healthy way is the norm.
It is by no mistake that I can comfortably tuck both of my feet behind my head while balancing on my arms, it was through years of dedicated yoga practice that I am at all able to do that.  When people show talent make no mistake that they have likely spent hundreds of hours honing their skills and the looks that we shoot them should be more like wow, that’s totally amazing, rather than geeze what a total nut case!
Good thing yoga has taught me not to care so much about what other people think of me but instead to live my life fully every day.  As my lovely friend Pangea puts it, “fly your freak flag”, so I do that and I like it.  On the other side of this sometimes when people are showing their talents to the world and it’s out of the ordinary I have also seen a different vibe coming from them.  This look is more like “What haven’t you ever seen someone swallow a flaming sword before while hoola hooping with a fire hoop?”
I’m never rude back, anyone that is!  Ah the journey is so amazing, I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Today, I fully identified with this look and now I can see it just like I see someone else smiling at me.

Certain decisions are easy to make, like do you want to smoke, get high, jump off a bridge, some are harder, do you want end a relationship with a friend, or partner, quit your job? (maybe that is easy sometimes).  Once we make a decision then we have to learn to let go of our attachments and move on.  Sometimes the strings to those attachments are attached directly into your heart and so when you cut them there is heartache and discomfort.
So how do we welcome the end of good things or great things?

I’m closing my business down after almost 7 years and it will be hard to let it go since there is a strong attachment to it.  In fact ,I teetered in the beginning whether or not I should continue or close.  Was it the right time to make that decision, what will happen to my students, so many questions and things to contemplate, so not an easy decision to make.
Then, like a smack in the face, I hear my yoga teacher saying “Open to Grace, soften, feel…”  And, instantly the fear dissolves and I receive a clear message that yes indeed this is a good thing.  Confirmation from my higher Self.  An overwhelming sense of gratitude fills my heart and soul.  Wow, I’m so thankful to be awake, so that I don’t feel alone and I trust myself.  I’m so grateful to have found a yoga practice that has taught and prepared to make good decisions, welcome endings, step into the flow and be embraced by grace.
I want to share a technique that I learned many years ago that has worked for me every time I have to make a decision.  I guess you could call think of it as having an important conversation with your higher Self.  The first time I used it, it actually scared the crap out of myself because it was so clear and powerful.  There was no question in my mind whether or not I was getting the answer to my question.  Let me warn you before you attempt this technique you will get the truth, if you like it or not.
The first time I used this technique was because I meet this really great guy and only 2 days after we hit it off something crappy, stupid and self induced happened, he got a DUI charge.  As soon as he told me I broke it off right away, I didn’t want to go there with him, however, some friends convinced me to give him a chance, that he just made a mistake, so I did.  The foreshadowing of what was to follow should be no surprise here.
I gave him another chance and shortly after the chaos began!  I just left a 7 year long relationship and now I’m thinking what the hell, how did I get myself involved in all this chaos again.  The craziness went on for a few months as I was trying to sort through the love-at-first sight feelings and I was so pissed at the DUI, I wanted to ream this guy out!  But still I wasn’t willing to welcome the ending so I hung on and duked it out, like a tough girl.
One morning, I slipped into the bathtub, closed my eyes and took some deep breaths.  I got very still, quiet and I turned inside.  Once I was as relaxed as I could be, I imagined a tiny door on my heart.  I visualized myself knocking on this door that looked like the door Snow White knocked on when she meet the 7 dwarfs.  When the door opens I was welcomed by this warm, soft pink light into this magical space.  I could see a table and two chairs from the top of this tiny little spiral staircase.  I made my way down and sat at the table.  It felt like I was about to meet someone really important and I was.

There wasn’t a figure or person that actually appeared to sit across from me but I knew it was time to present my question to my heart.  Get ready, this is deep friends!  “Should I stay with this guy?”  Then silence, the walls of this space, beating, alive……. still nothing…… then …  a very clear, loud  NO, echoed through the cambers of my own heart!!! I nearly fall off the tiny chair, holy crap I thought I wasn’t expecting that to happen.
That’s it!  That was the conversation I had with my higher Self, it was the truth, it was what I needed to do, it was the right thing to do and I knew it all along, I just wanted to make sure.
“Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first.  Ask questions, then feel the answer.  Learn to trust your heart.”      So that day, I ended that relationship and stuck to my guns about that decision.  Matters of the heart are never easy for me but I know that I can tune into my heart for loving, truthful guidance at any time.  I have used that same technique so many times and I always know that whatever I am asking I will get a solid, clear answer.  Your heart never lies to you, ever!  But you need to be willing to go deep inside to get the answer, even if it’s going to hurt.
“Only do what your heart tells you to” Princess Diana
Again, I’m so full of gratitude for my yoga teachers, John Friend, Todd and Ann and spiritual guides I get goosebumps and my eyes well up with tears because they have all taught me that I don’t need to go outside of myself to get to the truth, that my heart is the center of my being and it’s from there that I have the strength to let go and move forward.

“The human heart feels things the eyes can not see, and knows what the mind can’t understand”  T.E Kalem

Energy will always flow, you can’t stop it but what you can do is channel it in ways that are life affirming.  Facebook is an energy!  It’s good, it’s bad and sometimes it’s downright ugly!  Some days it makes you feel special, loved, blessed and other days you feel left out, misunderstood, hurt.  In fact, if it wasn’t for FB, I doubt I would have any communication or access to communication with my ex-bf’s or people I went to grade 2 with!
So FB is good and bad.  I have access and made connections with some of those most inspiring people in the world, including some of the most skilled yoga teachers to have walked this earth.  I have sent them messages and they have responded to me, that is special, that is a big deal, that’s where facebook shines!!!
Of course there is another side to this.  I also had some strange dude from BC add me and of course I added him before I really checked him out.  His messages were a bit creepy so I thought, I better investigate this dude.  Turns out he’s a “collector”, yep, all women, no male friends.  So I took him off, no big deal.  Then he tried to add me several times after that, even with different names so I went the next step and I BLOCKED him! Take that wacko stranger!
In addition to crazy dudes I have also blocked a few friends that I no longer wanted to be associated with, but of course it’s facebook so if your friends are friends with that friend then there is no escape.  Your going to see their shit and they’re going to see your shit.
The thing is you can’t block energy from flowing, you don’t have that kind of power, it’s nature but what you can do is be aware of your reactions to FB, to the people on it and remove people off your block list!  In fact crazy dude is that last person on that list of mine and as an experiment I am going to take him off and see if I will get any response.  If I do, then I will address him and ask him not to try to connect with me anymore.
DONE!  So now my job is to channel energy in ways that will enhance my life and make it more beautiful.  Don’t take this so seriously because if you really have a stalker, (I have, I understand it’s scary) your safety is paramount but living in fear isn’t very fun and I think they more we try to block or fear life we attract exactly more of that same kind of energy.
On this day, Dia de los Muertos, I thank all those souls and teachers that have come before me and have taught me how to better manage my life, FB, relationships and crazy people.
Blessings to all, Mindy

I still feel kind of like a newbie in the world of yoga, only 10 years in, but the amount of yoga and my total devotion to this path has allowed me to witness so much in that short time.  When I first started I had no clue about alignment at all, in fact my first Yoga Teacher Training had very little in terms of alignment in the postures but blessed me in other ways.  Since I was hooked after the very first yoga class I took and I was totally inspired and fired up to go to the next level, and then something interesting happened.  YOGI BEWARE!   I got hurt, a lot!
I remember this class I had done early into my yoga life at a gym and the sound I heard and the intense pain I felt when my hamstring attachment tore!  I could hardly walk out of the class and every time I bent over to put my shoes on I was in agony, for about a year and a half!!!  After that first incident several others followed, like a shoulder injury, neck issues (from headstand), wrist strains, tweaking my back so I couldn’t walk, and of course a couple more hamstring pulls.
All of these things mostly happened because I was practicing in my bedroom using books as guides or videos without a teacher to guide me or look out for me.  In most of these cases it was indeed my own fault for not listening to my body and pushing too far too fast but in some cases it was the instruction or lack of in the books I was using or the teacher!
To me this feels like ages ago now but I am happy to report I have not experienced any major injuries from my yoga practice since I discovered Anusara’s brillant Universal Principals of Alignment.  The bottom line, ALIGNMENT MATTERS in a yoga asasna practice!  To line up takes a lot of work, discipline and consistency.  The good news, our bodies, minds and hearts are letting us know how our yoga is going.
If your in pain when you do a backbend every time (like I was) and you believe that you’ll eventually get it, I can confidently tell you that it’s NOT going to happen.  Pain is a sure fire sign that something within the body is in a misalignment and since you have over 200 bones and 600 muscles good, clear technical instructions are necessary to move into life affirming alignment.
Even with the most amazing instructions, coming from the most experienced and skilled teachers sometimes we just aren’t getting it! Creatures of habit I suppose. I can’t tell you how many times in my teaching journey I have heard a student out right refuse to try doing a pose a different way because “that is what my teacher taught me” or “I’ve been doing it like this for 30 years”, well things have changed from the way yoga was taught 30 years, 500 years or 3,000 years ago. Some of the older ideas have simply been replaced with solid bio mechanical principals.
Here’s a good example.  In many of my first yoga books I had in 2002 it looked like people had their hands turned in for crow pose.  So of course I did it like that too and holy crap did it ever hurt my wrist after about 20 seconds or 5 attempts.  In my head I just wasn’t strong enough to do these crazy arm balances.  About 1 year ago I was at a class in our city with my girlfriend and the woman beside I was clearly showing signs of wrist pain from doing crow.  My jaw dropped as I watched the teacher tell her to turn her hands in!!!  IN????  REALLY IN????  OUCH!!!!  It took everything I had to not say something to help her but it wasn’t my place to do that.
There are basics to setting foundations that are so clearly and consistently taught in Anusara that you start to really understand how even the tiniest little refinement in your alignment allows you to go deeper and deeper into your poses and more importantly into your heart so you can work on the old itty-bitty-shitty-committee (thank you Todd Norian) and start to line up in your practice in ways that free you not hurt you!
This is a lifelong practice because the amount of refinement you can do in any yoga pose is infinite.  Some of these refinements are injurious and some will take us to places in our body-mind-heart that we had no idea we could tap.  So if you are experiences pain in your practice and you LOVE yoga than search out a teacher that knows alignment and more importantly listen to the teacher in your own heart that is always there, guiding you and your body and you’ll start to experience ecstasy in your yoga practice, each and every time you step on your mat.

So blessed to be on this journey and huge thanks to my teachers along that way who have taught me how to align my body-mind-heart in such a beautiful and skillful way.
Pranams to John Friend, Todd Norian, Ann Greene, and so many other wonderful yoga teachers

Bright blessings to you!

I’m so excited to create this page to share my vision of life with you!  I have decided to drop my self-limited talk about not being a “techie” person and embrace this beautiful way of connecting.  On my page I plan to share insights, inspirations, quotes, recipes, successes and failures, as well as my teaching and retreat schedule with you.

I just want to get my feet wet today so let me leave you with a quote from my teacher that has been blowing around my head for days.  “When the wind blows the mountain doesn’t move”  That’s from my teacher John Friend, founder of Anusara yoga.  It is a great and powerful reminder that a place inside of us should be steadfast!  Life is always changing and we can get lost in it if we are not connected to our hearts.

I plan to live from my heart for a long time and I’m looking forward to sharing it with you!!!

Lots a love,

Mindy